Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
NoShamevember. You game?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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