I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
