OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
