What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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