Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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