If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
