the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
