I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
