i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
