She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
