just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize