Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I have already put on my inside pants.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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