You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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