shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
