Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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