Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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