You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
