Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Rumble strips road head = magical
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize