Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
