I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
My day in three words: secret purse cake
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
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