but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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