can u get pink eye on your cock?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
