do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize