when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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