thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
