I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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