Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
