what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
