grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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