Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Randomize
