i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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