I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize