never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
