Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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