dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
