Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
This baby is an asshole
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
