so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
that may or may not have been my penis.
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