this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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