don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
