His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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