Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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