I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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