We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize