Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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