You work out of a Hotel?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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