Where is the hickey?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
