Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
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