I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
