so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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