Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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