Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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