Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
