Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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