I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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