Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
