"it" just moved
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
