I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Ketchup is God's man juice
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
