first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
